|We'll Always Have Taz-Mania|
|Written by:|| Henry Gilroy|
|Date aired:||September 23, 1994|
|Previous episode:||Ready, Willing, Unable|
|Next episode:||Moments You've Missed|
The title is a play on the famous line "We'll always have Paris," from the film Casablanca, of which this episode is a parody.
After a meatloaf dinner, the family settles in to watch tv, but Taz's overexuberant remote-control-button-pressing makes the television explode. Instead, Hugh tells them the story of how he first met Jean.
He owned an orange juice cafe in Casablanca during the Great Cola Wars. She sat down at the bar knowing all about him. When the Cola Secret Police raided the club, she asked him to protect her. They escaped out the back, into his boat, The Tasmanian Queen, and up the river. She reveals she is a double agent for The PTA Strike Force and The Orange Juice Association, and she is on a mission to deliver a prototype orange juice concentrate to Florida. When the sail over a waterfall, he drinks a carton of OJ like Popeye eating spinach and gains super-strength to push the boat back up the waterfall and to safety on the shore. She kisses him for his heroism, but just then the Cola Secret Police catch them. Insulted by their treatment of her, he busts loose, fights the baddies and frees her. They escape to the airport where she boards a plane for Florida and they never see each other again.