Hare Conditioned is a 1945 Warner Bros. cartoon in the Looney Tunes series. It was directed by Chuck Jones. It stars Bugs Bunny, who was voiced by Mel Blanc. The Stacey's (pun on Macy's) Management was done by Dick Nelson.
The title is a play on "air conditioned"; before air conditioning became widely used, it was sometimes advertised as incentive for the public to visit department stores, where they could avoid the heat of a hot day and, ideally for the store, make purchases.
Bugs is on display in the "Stacey's Department Store" window, helping to advertise camping gear. After closing time, Bugs retires to have a well earned carrot. The store manager appears and informs Bugs that since the summer sale's over, he's being transferred to another department, which Bugs puzzles over ("taxidermy") The man tells the rabbit he will look splendid... after he has been "stuffed". Right after Bugs does what he thinks could be a suitable pose, he ponders this for a second, finds out that the manager intends to cut him open to be "stuffed," screams after realizing this, and begins a cartoon-long chase.
The manager then chases Bugs into the jewelry department with a gun and fires when he catches sight of Bugs' ears sticking up from a counter. Bugs moves his ears so the bullets miss, but he seems to raise his hands in surrender. Just as the manager gloats that he'll finish Bugs off, Bugs pops out from behind the counter (revealing that it was just a pair of gloves on the tips of his ears), armed with a gun as well, and states he'll finish off the manager. He pulls the trigger, to which the gun sticks out three "bang" signs, prompting the manager to stick three "ouch" signs out of his mouth.
At one point, when the manager gloats that he outsmarted Bugs, Bugs distracts him by telling him he sounds "just like that guy on the radio: The Great Gildersneeze!" Bugs is right, the voice is a good imitation of Harold Peary's character in the The Great Gildersleeve. The actor providing that voice here is uncredited, although most animation historians seem to agree it was Dick Nelson. (For unknown reasons, Blanc redubbed one line for him.) Just as the manager is gushing over this comment, Bugs swipes the gun away, making it go off in the process. When the manager demands to know if Bugs had been attempting to outsmart him, Bugs innocently states that he just did, and gives the manager a wacky kiss.
The manager then chases after Bugs into the ladies' department, where he sees a customer (Bugs in disguise). Bugs asks for a pair of bedroom slippers, to which the gushy manager takes off Bugs' high heel and tickles his feet. While they're laughing, Bugs falls to the floor, revealing that what the manager was tickling was actually a mannequin leg, to which Bugs wiggles his real toe and escapes.
The manager then chases Bugs through several departments where they each wear the outfit associated with that department (little boys, Turkish Baths, costume, sports). Bugs then blows his cover when the manager sees Bugs isn't wearing any lingerie.
As Bugs rushes upstairs, the manager gets into the elevator, where Bugs (in disguise again) brings him down. Just as the manager gets wise after exiting, Bugs tricks him into getting aboard another elevator going up, where the manager sees multiple Bugs's thumbing lifts on the elevator on each floor. Just as he comes back down, Bugs shoves the manager out of the elevator, making the manager rush up hundreds of flights of stairs to the top of the building.
Once at the top, Bugs pushes the manager down a shaft with an elevator under repair. Bugs then listens to the manager crash to the ground floor, and while he remarks how dumb the manager is, the manager, looking worse for the wear, zips back up ready to strangle Bugs.
Just when Bugs is about to be captured, he distracts the man again by tricking him into thinking there is a "frankincense" monster behind him, just like in a good book he just read. When he looks behind, Bugs has leaped into position, making a hideous face. The frightened man leaps off the building with a scream, and apparently to his death. Bugs tut-tuts, then pulls out a mirror, makes the same face to himself, turns to the audience in horror, and then he leaps off the building with a scream. Iris out.
- An idea similar to the closing gag would be used in 1946's Hair-Raising Hare. The monster (later dubbed "Gossamer") sees his reflection in the mirror, and the reflection screams and runs away.
- Porky Pig only appears in the end of the cartoon with his usual famous drum scene. Only one other Bugs cartoon in the Looney Tunes series ended with this exact sequence: Buckaroo Bugs. The rabbit's next two Looney Tunes had him coming out of the drum (saying "and dat's de end!" as opposed to "that's all folks!"), and all his Looney Tunes after that ended with the Looney Tunes variation of the longtime Merrie Melodies end sequence ("That's All Folks!" written out over the rings).
- During the 1945-1946 season, Looney Tunes used Merrie Melodies' opening sequence with the narrow rings while maintaining the same title.
- During this season, the Looney Tunes theme The Merry-Go-Round Broke Down was shortened onwards, as it is in this cartoon. This first "short" version was actually used earlier, but it is not known which cartoon used it first due to the Blue Ribbon policy.
- During the elevator scene, Bugs (dressed as the elevator operator) rattles off items available on the "sixth floor", such as rubber tires, nylon hose, bourbon, butter, and then finishes with "...and other picture postcards." This joke refers to the rationing that took place during World War II, where the items mentioned were in severe shortage due to the war effort, although pictures of them could be had.
- The Stacey's manager appeared in an episode of The Sylvester & Tweety Mysteries entitled "Happy Pranksgiving", and also in Looney Tunes: Rabbits Run.
This cartoon is found on Looney Tunes Golden Collection: Volume 2.
See also List of Bugs Bunny cartoons