The complete transcript of Hare-um Scare-um, a Merrie Melodies cartoon starring Bugs Bunny's prototype, Happy Rabbit.


Hunter: (reads newspaper showing inflation on meat prices) "They can't do this to me. I'm a citizen, a taxpayer. Who do they think they are? I'll show them, I'll get my own meat. (changes into his hunting clothes and gets his gun) (says to his dog), You and me are going hunting, rabbit hunting, I'll show them."

Happy: "Guess who, (dog barks) guess again, (barks) you're getting warmer, (barks) THAT'S CORRECT ABSOLUTELY CORRECT!" (rabbit then laughs and kicks the log with the dog and hits the tree)

Happy: "Too bad. (disguised as a doctor, comes riding in a motorboat) Do you have dizzy spells? Do you see spots before your eyes? Do your ears ring? Are you subject to fits? (dog nods to all questions) SO AM I, MAYBE THAT'S WHATS THE MATTER WITH ME!" (rabbit then laughs and jumps in the water)

Happy: "Celery, mighty fine nerve tonic, boy have I gotten nerve." (rabbit laughs and tickles hunter)

Happy: (in the cave that transformed into an elevator) "Main floor, pottery, leather goods, washing machines and aspirin, going up. (rabbit goes up and comes back down) You don't have to be crazy to do this, but it sure helps!" (rabbit laughs)

Happy: "I think you got something there, buddy." (dog finds out female dog was the rabbit and chases rabbit)

Happy: (imitating a policeman) "Goin' a little fast aren't you buddy? you're on the wrong side of the street too, (sniffs) hmm, intoxicated, let me see your drivers license, just as I got, haven't got one. You know what this will cost you, thirty days hath September, April, June, and Montana, all of rest have cold weather, except in the summer, which isn't often." (rabbit laughs and runs away)

Happy: (singing song) "All the world was gay,

swinging on its way,

things were looking brighter day by day (laughs).

Nothin' ever wrong,

life was just a song, til that Looney Tune came along (laughs).

Oh, I'm going cuckoo, woo-woo (laughs while ripping a picture of Porky Pig),

Here comes the choo-choo, woo-woo (laughs),

I'm so gooney, looney tuney, t'hected in the head, (ketchup bottle appears by "magic")

Please pass the ketchup, I think I'll go to bed,

Am I the screwball, woo-woo, (laughs, sprays ketchup on screen)

Throw me the 8-ball, woo-woo (laughs)

Once I knew a thing or two,

But now I'm a buffer-roo,

Hinky-dinky parley, woo-woo!" (laughs, hunter then interrupts song)

Happy: "Don't shoot, don't shoot, I was only fooling, honest I was."

Hunter: "Oh yeah, well I'm not fooling, tomorrow morning you will be sizzling in my frying pan." (he then laughs evilly)

Happy: "Listen chief, you don't want to eat me, why I'm full of skin and bones see. (With a rejected government stamp) Look even the government turned me down. And besides, I haven't been feeling well lately. (fake coughs) (The hunter then starts to cry and have sympathy for the rabbit) That's all right, sucker, I mean soldier, lets shake hands and forget the whole thing." (The rabbit holds a joy buzzer and tazes the hunter)

Hunter: (furious with rabbit) "Come back here and fight like a man! I can whip you and you whole family!" (A bunch of rabbits appear ready to fight)

Lost Ending Restored Transcript

Happy: "You oughta get that fixed, somebody's liable to get hurt." (rabbit laughs and bounces pogo-stick style) (hunter about to throw a tantrum then bounces on his head like the rabbit)