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The Stud, The Nerd, The Average Joe, & The Saint is the 34th episode of The Looney Tunes Show.
Plot[]
Daffy Duck asks Bugs Bunny what their home phone number is when he got a new phone, because he dropped his old phone in the toilet. Then he asks what Porky's number is. After Bugs answers him, Daffy asks what Porky's last name is. Bugs is surprised that Daffy doesn't know it's pig, but Daffy thought pig was a nickname. Afterwards, Daffy asks how you spell pig. Yosemite Sam knocks on the door because he wants Bugs to sign a petition that would let Sam get his guns back. A flashback then shows what Yosemite Sam did with his guns that caused him to lose his guns in the first place. Bugs doesn't sign, but Daffy does without even knowing what the petition is about. In the next scene, Daffy and Porky are having lunch at Pizzarriba. Daffy asks if he's sure pig isn't short for anything. After Speedy Gonzales brings their food, Daffy is confused that Porky got a salad. Porky tells him he's trying to eat healthy because he's training for the upcoming marathon. Daffy is shocked that Porky signed up for a marathon, he then challenges Porky to a race and Porky wins. So an angered Daffy tells Porky he's entering in the marathon so he can beat the pig.
The next day, Bugs spits out his coffee in shock when Daffy says he's going for a run. Daffy tells Bugs that Porky is the the Nerd, Bugs is the Average Joe, and he is the Jock and the Hunk in their group of friends. When Daffy leaves Bugs hears something at Sam's house Sam is trying to hit his smoke detector with a baseball bat, because it keeps beeping. But Yosemite Sam gets mad when Bugs replaces the battery which was why it was beeping. So Sam says he has to bake him a cake to pay him back, then Daffy is in the hospital and Dr. Weisberg tells Speedy what happened. Speedy wonders why they called him, Weisberg tells him that Speedy's number is Daffy's emergency number in case anything happens.
When Dr. Weisberg leaves, Daffy wakes up and tells Speedy that Speedy is the Dependable one, Bugs is the Uptight one, Porky is the Buffoon. After that Speedy asks why him, so Daffy tells Speedy that Speedy is the Saint, Bugs is the Buffoon, Porky is the Dependable one, and he is the Smart one. Speedy is confused, but he agrees and Daffy faints afterwards. Daffy then asks Speedy to train him so he can beat Porky in the marathon and Speedy agrees.
However it turns out that Daffy is in a horrible state of health thanks to a lack of exercise and a zero nutrition, all junk diet who can barely run ten feet in the style of a woman with a purse without exhausting himself. After numerous failed attempts to improve himself it's finally time for the marathon. Due to Daffy's lack of skills and poor health he ends up giving up at the very beginning of the race so Porky ends up carrying him all the way to the finish line
However after the race is over and everyone is at the pizzeria Daffy see's a photo showing that his beak crossed the finish line before Porky. Restoring the 'natural order' as he sees it. Giving the others derogatory titles (Calling Speedy simply 'the mouse') while taking all of the positive titles for himself. The Stud, the Saint, the Genius, etc.
Cast[]
| Actor | Voice(s) |
|---|---|
| Jeff Bergman | Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck |
| Bob Bergen | Porky Pig |
| Maurice LaMarche | Yosemite Sam |
| Kwesi Boakye | Gossamer |
| Fred Armisen | Speedy Gonzales |
| Garry Marshall | Dr. Weisberg |
Quotes[]
- Daffy: Oh hey! What's your home phone number?
Bugs: The same as your home phone number.
- Daffy: (to Porky about his last name) So it's not even short for anything like Pigman or Pigstein? It's just Pig?
- Daffy: You may have won the battle, but I will win the war!
Porky: There's no war!
Daffy: Yes there is! I'm entering the marathon!
- Daffy: How do I look?
Speedy: Like a woman with high heels, carrying a purse!